I write a monthly reflection for my church’s newsletter.  In those articles, I am necessarily a good deal more personal/contextual than in my usual focus for this Aging and the Church blog.  I wrote a variation of this piece for a forthcoming issue of the Bethel Banner.   Bruce

The Music of Possibilities

The other day after church Noel Stratmoen and I were talking in Bethel’s narthex.  The conversation started with a sharing of our common appreciation for Bethel’s music.  But our conversation went further. 

We reflected how music can be an important part of what makes any of us feel good about ourselves.  To contribute in positive ways to the lives of others is our personal way of “doing good”, as well as “feeling good”.  For instance, as we sing hymns together in church, many people (most people?) surely feel that their voice is adding nicely to the whole.  Those folks are contributing their voice as a gift to the congregation and to God.  

In contrast, especially after my several throat surgeries several years ago, I suggested to Noel that my voice is different now.  I am not one that contributes in a positive way to the congregation’s gift of voices.  As a matter of fact, I find much more personal satisfaction by singing inwardly and letting the congregation and my mind carry the tunes -- not my damaged vocal cords.

The music of others, (and, in a way, the music in my mind) makes me happy.  It is one reason that I enjoy Bethel’s services.   But it is not, for me, a way in which I feel I contribute to my church.  My life is lesser because of it.   But that’s reality, and I’m OK with it.

Noel, a thoughtful guy, said he had not thought about that.  His response was typical for us all.  Something that some of us take for granted, like “all people enjoy singing”, can be an assumption that misses reality for some people.

As an older adult, I think a lot about the dilemma of making meaningful “contributions” at church as we age.  The issue plays out over time in other realms too, not just music;  from showing up for yard work or for helping out at the yearly church garage sale, for instance.  

As we older adults wisely make a choice to cut back on what we volunteer to do in ways that match our energy, we may not realize that we are also then curtailing the life-giving positive feelings that we receive when we contribute to the joy and well-being of others.

   

Older adult Bethel member, Bob Phelps was the first to enable me to see this dynamic in action.  Two of Bob’s gifts to our congregation were his wonderful interviewing and writing skills.  When he chose to “retire” from those contributions to our congregation, he said he knew that his life was going to be lesser in a way, but that’s reality, and he was OK with it.

So we older people make choices that affect our well-being.  For some of us anyway, we may not see a personally significant engagement alternative at church;  one that matches our current, changing circumstances.  And because of that, our life becomes a bit less meaningful.  But as a sign of hope, I recall a comment from Pastor Tim a year or so ago.  He said that as he watches people age he sees so many become engaged in activities and programs that they had not even considered earlier in their lives. 

So what is it that we older adults can create for ourselves and others at Bethel that -- to borrow a title from author, Irving Stone’s classic book, “Men to Match My Mountains”  -- can enable us to say that Bethel is a really great place for “Older Adults to Match Their Possibilities”.

Bruce