Balanced Conversations: 

                        A Matter of Community

I have been having a good conversation online with a man I do not know other than the fact that he is the president of a moderate-sized Lutheran church congregation.  We have been discussing the evolving position by the ELCA for welcoming gay and lesbian people, including gay and lesbian church leaders into the fold.  [Note: The gay/lesbian issue is merely an example of the importance of balance in communication that my friend and I are discussing.]

I personally welcomed this change in ELCA support for the gay and lesbian concerns.  Not that I would have 20 or 25 years ago. But thanks to conversations over the years with a friend-of-ours’ daughter, a lesbian, who we have known personally since she was a baby, my wife and I have become advocates for appreciating our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters completely.  It has become real to us that we are all equal as human beings in God’s eyes, regardless of our sexual orientation. 

However, my Internet friend and congregational leader basically said to me, “Whoa, not so fast.  Just because you are convinced that the ELCA made a good move in their votes, does not mean that all ELCA members feel that way.”  As he was telling me about this controversial issue in his church, he said,

“When we were in a recent call process it took all we had as leaders to hold the congregation together, as members on both sides wanted to have it out;  a my side vs. your side battle for the congregation.   I would not let them slug it out.  I used the statements in ELCA documents to show that each side was 'accepted' and we came together and this year accepted a set of core beliefs that don't push that topic one way or the other.  Declaring a winner in this fight is not core to being Christian. Therefore we agreed as a congregation to abide together.  I had to take this approach because our mission would not survive with a significant fragment of either side remaining.  So sticking it out together with our diversity of views on this topic is slowly moving us forward.

However, when the top down church position is clearly slanted and the more conservative members of my church call me out on the fact that all positions were supposed to be OK, how I am supposed to respond?  Where is there anything, an article, an editorial, any official statement of any kind balancing the equation so that those who stand opposed to ordination of gay and lesbian people can have their say?”

I thought about my friend’s comments.  Ironically, I talk about the importance of helping people notice and tell others about doing good in life, i.e. “doing unto others as we would have them do unto us”,  I know that the personal meaning inside that well known Biblical injunction is a matter of subjective belief based on a person’s experience and the influence of their friends and other social persuasions.  

As a result, I have become increasingly aware of the importance of listening to public statements from those ELCA members who do not support the evolution of the church toward complete acceptance of gay and lesbian people in all positions in the church.  It is in the midst of trying times like these that it remains important that we church community members continue to talk about diverse but meaningful issues together as an acknowledgement of our respect for each other – all under the umbrella of God’s children.

Bruce