HOPE IV:  Vulnerability, Commonality and Hope

This is the fourth of a series of blogs on Hope (hope for energy to do what must be done – together – to foster a creative renewal of our disappearing church).

So how do we get to hope from here?

Please keep in mind that our psychological reality and our religious beliefs are related to each other in our mind.  And our blended mind determines our sense of well-being.  So lets explore just a bit what else can affect our well-being in that mental mix. 

For older adults, change is a constant reality in our lives and with changes in our health, friends, family, and life circumstances comes uncertainty.  For us, doing things that can bring hope is a positive engagement with an uncertain future.  Hope for a favorable future as we face difficulties and uncertainty plays a crucial role in the effectiveness of our coping resources and our resilience.  And vice-versa;  our perceived effectiveness of our coping resources play an important role in our measure of hope.  Thus it makes sense that our perceptions of what our friends do that seem helpful as they too struggle with similar issues, can add to our sense of hope.

But to get to this point, it means that there must be a vulnerability of openness about our lives;  an openness to ourselves and to a trusted friend or family member.   It is in the honest, reciprocal sharing of issues involved in our changing lives that not only can we judge whether what another is experiencing is like what we are “going through” but, ironically, we may learn from that open conversation more about our own feelings as well. 

Vulnerability, Commonality and Hope.

In an earlier blog I mentioned that several years ago when I attended a church service in a Curenavacca, Mexico Catholic church, I noticed a disabled older Mexican man shuffling down the center isle on his way to his pew.  He had an intense focus -- his eyes steadfast on the looming, life-sized figure of Christ on the Cross ahead of him.  In his vulnerability, this man seemed to feel a commonality with his Christ.  It was my assumption, that this common bond of suffering, gave that old man an important sense of hope.

So too during conversations with others who listen to us with respect, we can all gain hope as we discover a healing energy within our common bonds of similar “uncertainties”.   Since positive emotions, like hope, are both healing forces and building forces, they allow us to open our mind, to see and hear what we may not have seen and heard before and to find the energy to open our arms and hearts toward new possibilities. 

If we are fortunate, we can find these life-sustaining open relationships among our family members, friends, professional helpers, and a belief in a God of grace and love.  But underlying this series on Hope is an argument for churches to foster a diversity of activities and programs that encourage older adults to seek out activities and ways of contributing that fit their capabilities and interests -- and in the process find meaningful, life-sustaining friendships. 

As I have pointed out many times, our positive relationships at church (including our relationships with God) affects our health, our well-being and our hope-filled energy to do what must be done -- together.

No matter how we construe faith and friendship’s separate beneficial natures, their neurological pathways in our mind are similar.  This is as important an understanding for our efforts to attend to a personal threat of cancer as it is for us to join together to address our disappearing church.

Bruce